Dating World

Why men lie to their spouses…

Why do men lie to their partners? It can be frustrating for a woman when the man in her life seems to lie to her every chance he gets, avoids her questions, gets angry at her when she tries to talk to him, and/or shuts down emotionally when she tries to connect with him.

A girl can sometimes feel like her man doesn’t love her anymore or that he is cheating on her if he doesn’t open up. This can cause all kinds of heart ache for a woman and could lead to a breakup, or worse yet, divorce.

So why do men seem to want to avoid emotional connection at all costs, and in the process, tell lie after lie, to do so?

There are several theories on why men guard their emotions and lie to their women to avoid the emotional conversations...

Instincts: Some of this might be instinctual; arising from a time when men had to be single minded and focus on the hunt. A random burst of sadness, for example, was probably not very useful when tackling a wooly mammoth or fighting off an enemy tribe. This is a controversial theory but does offer an interesting explanation on why men lie to their partners

Culture: Another theory on why men lie to guard their emotions has to do with how men and women are raised in today’s culture. Women learn social skills at a much earlier age than men. Girls are naturally much more social, and love talking to friends (Example: $800 cell phone bill); this helps them develop vital social/emotional skills earlier than boys. One example of cultural differences is: When girls play a sport or game, the emphasis is being part of a communal group, if one girl gets hurt; all the girls stop what they are doing and tend to that person. When boys are playing a sport, the emphasis is on winning at all costs, and when one gets hurt, all the other guys expect that guy to “suck it up” for the team and they all continue playing the game. Boys tend to mature both socially and emotionally more slowly than women. Boys are raised to be strong and not show weakness. Boys, for instance, would most likely be teased if they shared their 

feelings with their friends. Bullies would have a field day with a boy that was in touch 

with his “feminine side”.

Stress: One famous study actually found that men’s stress hormone levels actually increased when their partners tried to emotionally connect. These hormones are the same hormones that can wreak havoc on the human body if they are not regulated. Women, on the other hand, were found to be exactly the opposite, when it came to increases in stress levels. Their stress hormone levels were increased when they did not share their feelings. It’s almost a cruel joke that women need an emotional release to relieve stress and men need to avoid emotional release to relieve their stress. What a paradox; no wonder they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus!